The Lazy Persons Guide to 2013 music and movies

 By lazy person, I am referring to myself. I was going to talk about the best (and worst) songs and films of 2013 and then I thought it was just like making puff pastry- why make it when someone has already done a good job? And besides today I have committed myself to moving my daughters bed room downstairs and I can feel a bad mood coming on already.

So here it is - Pop Danthology 2013-  68 songs in 6 minutes

And a mashup of 2013 film trailers. 

I know- some people have far too much time on my hands.

2013- Where have you gone?

Where has 2013 gone? Remember when you were little and the years seemed to take forever to go by? Now they seem to be going by in a flash. Part of this could be my fault, wishing my working year away, but I think I would like them to slow down just a little.
In the lead up to the New Year- I thought I would do a little rewind, starting with my third most favourite thing after clothes and makeup- celebrities.

A much as it pains me to say it 2013 was the year of Miley Cyrus. I would like to thank her for ensuring that no matter how unprepared I was I could always come up with a lesson on representations. Now if someone could please tell her to keep her tongue in her mouth that would be nice. She apparently is also credited with making twerking mainstream, I have heard though that she twerks wrong. Twerking is meant to be front to back, and she goes side to side. So there. I have included a video by  Tweetboogie (seriously) in case you are after some New Years Eve dance moves.

If you are interested Miley has a new video out, she is nearly naked and wriggles around on a sheet a lot. Yawn

Poor Amanda Bynes must get a mention. Although she is not well known in Australia, she rates an honourable mention to illustrate why 

1. You should never let your kids be a child star 

2. If you are going to wear a wig, wear a nice one and

3. Stay off the drugs kids.

The perfect Kate and Will, had a perfect baby George (actually apparently he isn't that perfect, he cries a lot. Sucked in). Strangely he has only been seen in public three times. I think he is still mad at them for making him wear a dress, and he is concerned that Kate is going to continue matching their clothes. At least he and his Dad have the same amount of hair.

What the hell is she wearing?

America royalty Kim and Kayne ( I swear his name is really Kane) also had a baby, Little North West. They call her Nori. The poor child will either been known as a piece of sushi or a direction. As if her parents weren't embarrassing enough.

                               " Kim and Kayne? I don't know who you mean"

Biebs went bonkers, got lots of tattoos and retired. All that needs to be said it-

1. Don't let you child be a child star and

2. Stay away from the drugs kids! (somehow I feel like I have said that before)

Jennifer Lawrence owned 2013 in a big way, and she is funny. Anyone who can trip on the way to accepting an Oscar and it still manages to look like an ad for a perfume is ace.

She also did get photographed smoking a joint, but she is a prime example of that if the media like you, you can do anything.

   

Beyonce was Beyonce and did lots of amazing things. Blah, blah, blah I'm bored.

Possibly the most genetically blessed child in history.

On the home front, Miranda "have you seen my boobs" Kerr broke up with Will Turner , sorry Orlando Bloom. I always get that confused, because one sounds like a Disney name and the other sounds sensible. This is very sad, because little Flynn Kerr-Bloom is a cutie pie. But in the best tradition of " I am wholesome and organic, they are remaining best friends". Well thats what they say until one hooks up with someone else.

Miranda has since been linked with Jamie Packer. 

              mmmmmmmmm- that was a thinking mmmmmm, not a yummy mmmmmm

One Direction showed that there is only ever One Direction. The boys were as cute and cuddly as ever, Niall and Louis stayed funny, Harry remained cute (and dated Taylor Swift and got his own song),  Zayn stayed mysterious and Liam remained the dad. ( I have no idea what that means either, but my 8 year old told me that is his job.)

Awww Cuties. My only concern is that they are over doing the random tats, but I guess they will be able to finance the removal.

Lara Bingle appeared on the cover of Who magazine again, with the same story of her new love, but this new love is Sam Worthington. I think they make a cute couple. The boy from Rockingham and the girl from the Shire. A bogan love match made in heaven.

And The Biggest Losers Michelle and Commando had an affair, broke up and got back together again. I also think they would be a perfect match. They could bore each other stupid with their healthy lifestyles. I wonder who would win in a fight though.

Julia Gillard- no matter what you thought of her politics or her ear lobes, she was our first female Prime Minister who put up with so much from the Media. If I was here I would be rocking in a corner with a nice bottle of cooking sherry. She is now living by the beach with her partner Tim and their dog. 

The world mourned the loss of Nelson Mandela. It was sad, but he was really old.

A publication got into trouble because they wrote a memorial to Nelson Mandela, and accidentally used a photo of Morgan Freeman. I can see it.

Nelson is on the right.

Their is so much more that I could talk about but these were a few highlights for me. I couldn't end the year in review though without a photo of the most famous perfect family in the world. 

Oh and His Royal Hot-ness grew a beard, after he hiked to the Antarctic (or somewhere really cold) with disabled soldiers. Sigh. 

                                       

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Merry Christmas everybody from my family to yours. Hope you have an awesome day with way too much food, fabulous presents, lots of expensive champagne and not too many family arguments.

A short story about shorts

 I went into the city today and didn't buy myself a thing (well I bought I nail polish but that doesn't count- it is a mix between electric pink and orange and it's by Essie of course). Priceline has two for $20 at the moment, considering they are $16 each normally this is a super bargain.

If I had bought myself something though it would have been a pair of shorts (why are they called pairs? You only get one?) I love shorts for summer, I think because you can dress them up or down, and chuck on a lightweight jumper or long sleeved tshirt if it gets cold. 

Denim always works well and pretty much with everything,

Denim and white is a classic

but you can't go past a nice pair of black shorts either. A big trend for summer is brights and patterns, so basically anything goes.

The big trick with shorts is knowing the right length.If you are thinking for work, they shouldn't be too short, but I don't think long works well either

I think this is the perfect longer length

Personally I don't think this length works for anyone

In the words of my friend Claire " You shorts should be two cms longer than your cellulite." I couldn't have said it better myself.

                           Maybe just a tiny bit too short

Here is a little bit of a selection of shorts in some pretty amazing shades and patterns. I think shorts look amazing with flats, or thongs, but you can do heels, but maybe a wedge.

So back to my shopping day today- I didn't buy any clothes, but if I was to do a fantasy Witchery shop this would have been my purchase (s)

 A basic tank, but white or black. I would only go this colour if I bought black shorts

 I would just go a statement cuff, because I want a simple outfit and nothing says summer like silver, or white wine.

                  A super cute pair of bang on trend sunnies

 A slash of orange on my lips and glossy because we are staying casual

These shorts, which I actually do have, but I had my eye on an awesome fluro yellow pair.

         A delightful jewelled thong in silver to match my cuff

All these are available from Witchery,click here to go to their website

Trifle concerned about what desserts to make for Christmas?

I love cooking, and the thing I love cooking the most is desserts. So when any event comes around I always volunteer to do a dessert, so I thought I would share with you the desserts I will be making over the upcoming festive season. But be prepared they are super easy and super yummy!!!

So last night was dessert number one - the event was my friends Nicoles annual Christmas party. The dessert - Emma's delicious cherry ripe trifle. I adapted this from my mums recipe, and I think you can guess what my additions were.

All you will need is a swiss roll, some pre made custard, some whipped cream, sherry, jelly (I used red and green because it is Christmas), some cherry ripes, flakes, and almonds.

 Cut the swiss roll into slices, not too thick, not too thin and dip them in the sherry. It has to be sherry because this is a retro dish and nothing says retro like sherry.

In a glass bowl- so everyone can go "ohh that looks pretty" layer the swiss roll around the outside of the bowl.

Now add a generous amount of custard, jelly, cherry ripe, flakes and nuts, top with some cream and then place some more swiss roll over the top.

           Smack away sneaky hands trying to steal flakes

Repeat the jelly, custard, cherry ripe and nuts layer.

repeat the Smack away the hands of the stealing flakes 

Top with a final layer of cream, add a generous layer of flake (if there is any left) and pop in the fridge until it is dessert time.

 Finally reward yourself with a swig of cooking sherry. You must drink it out of the bottle.

You could add fruit if you really wanted too, but lets face it- there is nothing good in this trifle, so why even pretend?

The old bags guide to bags

An old bag

Grace Kelly and her Hermes Kelly Bag

This post is for my beautiful friend Tracy who asked me ages ago to blog about bags. She told me that she is feeling unloved because I haven't written it. Well Trace- the reason for this is I have been doing research. Lots and lots of research.

Handbags are an interesting thing. You always need one and depending on the stage in your life, the bags you need will change. When you are young it contains fun things, when you have kids it contains everything, and when your kids get older it contains things you don't even know where they came from.

I have managed to streamline my bags because I don't really love bags. But I do love my bags and that would be because my bags are Louis Vuitton. I can rationalise it. Stay with me. (but then I have never made a purchase I can't rationalise). I like to think  of my babies, sorry bags, as investment pieces that will past along to my daughters. They are also the only bags I use, so really they are very economical. They have also been bought at special times in my life, so they hold not only crap, but also memories. See I told you I can rationalise anything.

When you talk bags there are classics, like the Kelly Bag, The Birkin Bag, The Chanel Chain Bag, The Sportsgirl logo tote.. but I think no matter what brand you favour or whether you go for investments, classics, or fun bags I believe you need to have the following sizes.

The everyday bag. This is one that is middle sized, it fits everything you need on a daily basis, but is not so massive that you give yourself a shoulder injury. My everyday bag is my LV Speedy. This was my first LV purchase, and I bought it with money may Grandma Brenda left me.  I love this bag, and I call it my Mary Poppins bags because it fits sooooo much in in, including one bottle of wine.

A Speedy- It was originally made for Audrey Hepburn and was based on the larger trunks.

Audrey and her Speedy.

The Oversized Bag-  This is your larger bag that you take shopping or to work, or whenever you need to carry lots of stuff.  My oversized is the LV Neverfull. And it is never full. It comes in a few sizes, but mine is middle large. It is kind of like a bucket. The best and worst thing about this bag is that it doesn't have a zip, meaning stuff can fall out, but this is also awesome because you can just keep shoving more stuff in. It has an oversized zipped pocket that will fit your purse,phone and keys. Your oversized bag is not for every single day because it gets too heavy and you will hurt your shoulder. I bought my Neverfull with the stimulus package money from KRudd. Everytime I use it I say a little prayer of thanks to Uncle Kevin. ( he is not my Uncle- he just reminds me of that drunk Uncle at a wedding and started handing out money to everyone.)

"You bought a LV bag with your stimulus package money? You go girlfriend"

This is a Neverfull. I used this as my overnight bag when I went to Paris. It held my jammies, a change of clothes, my make up, iPad, purse and passport. Bottle of Wine factor- at least 3. Those straps are strong.

The Purse- The purse is important, especially in the climate of loyalty cards and credit cards (unless you are me and you have given your credit cards to your husband so you will stop spending). They are also good if you can pop your phone in it as well. My purse is a Zippy Wallet. I got it for my 40th birthday. It fits all my cards, my money and my passport, just in case my husband ever decided to take me on a spontaneous overseas vacation. No this has never happened. I just live in hope.

The Zippy wallet. It is the perfect size.

The disco dancing or holiday bag- I don't ever go disco dancing, because I think these days they are called clubs, the drinks are far too expensive, oh and because I am old, but when I am going out for dinner, or you are going somewhere where you only need money, a lipgloss and your phone, this is the bag for you. Mine has a strap so I can wear it across my body or over my shoulder, and the strap can also detach so it is a little clutch. Genius. I also have a little money purse in it that I got from Typo. It says Golddigger. I bought this for myself as a reward for running a marathon. I also bought it with money that my Grandma Dora left me. I know she would have approved. I can almost hear her saying "It looks lovely Ems" every time I wear it. Dora was ace. She drank Gin and Champagne and she called everybody "Darling"

This is my disco dancing/dinner bag. 

Now of course you don't have to buy expensive bags, but I would suggest you do buy something nice. Oroton, Country Road, Witchery, all have some pretty fab bags. Places like Sportsgirl, Portmans and Forever New also have some great cheap disposable fashion bags. My gorgeous girlfriend Dawny also gets bags made in Bali. This is a fab idea, especially if you have a great basic bag that you love and would like to get made in a few different colours or sizes.

The biggest trend in bags right now is the small clutch. Cute but not always practical, Chanel though seem to be going for the toilet roll holder style

 This is called the Shiny Lambskin Evening Flap Bag. It cost $4500. I don't get it either.

So there you have it- the Older is the New Black guide to bags. I hope this helps you decide what bags you need in your life. My next purchase is hopefully going to be this

                          but not for a very long time. I need to save  and I am not very good at that, unless of course someone who loves decides to surprise me.

                   " Sucked in- if you have voted for me again you may have got a second chance."