Who invented this shared food thing anyway?

As my husband tells me regularly- I am a really bad sharer. Now I don't think this is 100% true, I can share, I just don't like sharing. I think it because I worry that if I share my stuff people will ruin it. Which is quite silly really because I do a pretty good job of ruining things on my own.

So being a bad sharer make this new food trend thing bloody annoying. In short- I am sick of every bloody restaurant you go to these days doing  shared food.

I find these days when ever I go to a restaurant and the "server" (is that the correct term these days?) tells me that " Our menu is designed to share." My heart sinks a little. If it is two of you, that is ok, especially when it is your significant other, but when there is more than the two of you, this is when it gets bloody annoying.

This is Les Tapas

I blame the Spanish. And Australians who like taking bits of other cultures and not using it properly. You see the Spanish have been doing tapas for years. The word tapas means "cover" and people were originally given something to cover their drinks (to stop the flies getting in their sherry. mmm sherry). Now as in Spain dinner ( yes DINNER) is served between 9 and 11, which means that they have an awful lot of time between work and dinner, so the Spanish being the clever things they are go from bar to bar and have some nice little snacks BEFORE DINNER. You hear that BEFORE DINNER. It is NOT dinner, it is NOT all you have to eat.

This is Les Australia tapas. I can tell because there  are three pieces and there are four people at the table.

So here are the main reasons I dislike sharing menus

1. You always go home hungry and have a ham sandwich. (on fresh white bread with lots of lurpak butter.)
2. Unless you know the people you are dining with really well, you always feel awkward about taking the last bit.
3. They food is served in odd numbers. Which is delightful when you have an odd number, but when you have 4 people, how the bloody hell are you going to split 3 pork belly's into 4?
4. When you have 6 or 8 people, you have to order two of everything. Which is a problem because (see point 5)
5. This sharing business is expensive. When you are paying $15-$20 for 5 meatballs it gets very pricey. They are obviously unaware that you can but a whole bag of meatballs from Ikea for $5.
6. You often end up with some left over bits because no one wants to take that last bit (see point 2) so before you can sneakily take the last bit the server has whisked it away from you.
7. You have to compromise and order things that you don't really like all that much. Like whitebait. What it the point of that? It's bait for God sake the name even tells you that!
8. Like wise you also have to share the things you really like. I can often be reduced to tears when someone takes that final bit of calamari.
9.You drink more wine because you are trying to fill up your tummy. Oh hang on, not sure if that one is a negative.
10. You misjudge just how much food you have eaten. So why you may leave the restaurant HUNGRY, you have eaten your entire calorific intake for the week.

Now there are some exceptions to this sharing rule.

Sharing is ok IF
1. You are having Chinese, Thai, Indian, Yum Cha...(basically Asian cuisine) and Pizza, or proper Tapas. From a Tapas bar. and you are drinking Sangria. Or Sherry.
2. You are having a starter. Sharing starters in fine. But then you have your OWN main meal.
3. If the share dish is large. Like enough for everyone and they don't charge you $10 for an extra piece of bread to dip in your dukkah.
4. You are on a diet, don't like food, are feeling slightly sick or don't like the people you are dining with so you don't care if they think you are a greedy pig.
5. There is no 5. ( I was pushing it finding 4 positives)

and neither does Emma.

images via Pinterest.