This morning I woke up to see yet another article written by someone talking about how wonderful their life is since they gave up alcohol. Apparently we are heading in Ocsober (what dry July is not enough?), so it is time for us all to take a long hard look at our drinking and think about how wonderful our life would be with out it.
So I read the article, and I realised one very important thing. The person writing it doesn't have children. Well let me tell you lady your life wouldn't be as easy alcohol free if you had a few kids with some animals thrown into the mix. Let me paint you a picture.
This morning I woke up to my daughter and son asking for my credit card so they could go to the shops to buy their new Play Station as soon as the shop opened. I then had the two cats and dogs deciding to wage a turf war on my bed. For the record the cats won. The cats always win. Dogs are so dumb.
To add some background information I have been in bed with a migraine for 2 days (my second in a week) which hit as soon as I got home from my 24km run on Saturday. My 9 year old told me she had no knickers because they were in the basket of washing that I did before I went for said 24km run. I bent down to get her knickers (because apparently she couldn't find them because they were not on top of the washing basket) and managed to pull the muscles in my lower back- because I didn't have my bath after my run because my 19 year old son can somehow use more towels than a hairdressing shop and still doesn't get that if you put the shower curtain IN the shower if won't flood the floor. So needless to say the last thing I wanted to do after my run was clean the bath to get into the bath.
So back to today - I get out of bed to find the dishes that were washed on Friday before I went to work still sitting in the dish rack. I walk into the back room of which I had to step over a takeaway plastic container that the dog had got out of the bin, which apparently no one else had seen (really?) to find the dog had pooed on the rug, the daughter had stepped in the poo and managed to rub the poo INTO the rug. But don't worry because it sure as hell didn't worry the kids. One was setting up the play station (around the poo) whilst the other was sitting transfixed on the couch watch the set up occur.
I cleaned up the poo (scrubbing the rug with a toothbrush and washing powder) yes - while set up was going on around me then tried to feed the animals, dropped the dogs food on the floor, tried to fight the dog off the cats food (because they dog was pissed off that I dropped her breakfast, lost one of the cats in the backyard, went to put the used toilet paper I used to clean up the dog food to find the toilet blocked because my daughter had been making one of her science experiments in the bathroom of which always ends with friggin paper EVERYWHERE.
So to all those people giving up alcohol in Ocsober I say to you good luck and hope it goes well. To all those others out there who find their nightly glass of vino followed up with the occasional weekend bender chaser makes life that little bit more bearable I say cheers. Now of course if you are having an every night bender followed with a vino chaser for breakfast you might have a bit of a problem.
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