The body rehab is going well. I think I have now lost around 8 kgs in 6 weeks. My clothes are getting looser but I'm still waiting for people to say. " Have you lost weight?" Or maybe it is just because everyone knows I am on a diet- body rehab program. I think rehab must be working because I have been bloody sick. My whole body must be purging.
I have however made a few changes. I have introduced steak into my diet and I have had a cheat day. Because I had a hangover. And you need to feed a hangover. Right??? Cauliflower soup does not do the job.
As I was sinking my teeth into my Whopper on Saturday I felt a rush of pure joy. The chips.... heaven. The vegemite on toast (with butter) I consumed when I got home at 3am on Saturday morning...bliss. The pizza I had for dinner on Saturday ( it was a big hangover ok)...there are no words. But it honestly got my thinking...... no matter how good the intentions, no matter the motivation, no matter how bad you know the food is for you, no matter how badly you want to be able to have a profile shot of you taken without having to go the Facetune app to shave off a few inches from your tummy and arms- do you ever really lose the taste for it??
Will the day ever come when I feel the same passion for a vegie stirfry as I do for a quarter pounder with cheese?? Will I ever stop looking longingly when the person next to me has penne carbonara when I am feasting on my steamed vegies and barramundi?? Will I ever not get more excited about the fact that a trip to the country means I can get a crumbed chicken and cheese sausage from the servo????
When will it be easy to walk past the party pies and sausage rolls at the weekly morning tea to grab a carrot stick and a celery stick?? Will the day come when I look at a piece of caramel slice and feel repulsed?? Will I ever stop feeling ridiculously jealous of someone eating a Cadbury Creme Egg? When will I not want to cry at the unfairness of walking past a pub having a $10 Chicken Parmie night ($12.50 if you want salad) and not being able to have one? Will I ever be able to watch a cooking show again without throwing something at the screen? And don't even start me on the sadness I feel when I see a glass of champagne. It is pure grief. I have even had to drive to work a different way so I can't see the chicken roll and chips poster outside Red Rooster.
I always thought that when I got older I would mature and all of a sudden lose my taste for fattening food. I really, really want too. I want vegies to be my go too. I want to get excited over a piece of crispy skinned salmon. I want to say " I love tofu" and really mean it. I want to be able to say " Oh - I forgot to eat lunch today." or " Oh - no thanks - I'm not hungry." I want the day to come that eating a piece of cheesecake will make me feel sick. I want to be able to go to a pub and actually really feel content that the piece of lime I make them put in my Coke Zero is making me feel fancy.
Can you honestly turn your taste buds around?? Does it ever truly happen? Does anyone really like Chia pudding? Or are we all really just liars trying to convince ourselves? I will continue to live in hope. And in the meantime I will continue to dream of bread (seriously). And count the days down until my road trip. That crumbed chicken and cheese sausage is going to be amazing.
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