To cooking shows. That got you didn't it, I know you where thinking I was finally going to recognise my alcohol addiction.
I love, love, love cooking shows, and Foxtel is permanently set to the Cooking Channel. My current favourites are
Gordan Ramsay- the one where he cooks at home with his cuter than a button daughter Tilly. I just want to reach into the tele and pinch those cutie little cheeks. She also makes fun of her dad. Some times he has his mum in and she tells him she doesn't like the food he cooks.
This is Gordon with his beautiful girls. And his man boobs.
Nigella- of any shape or form. And she is any shape or form, as they show any episode from her first series to her latest, with no continuity at all. I think I have seen every episode about 5 times. I do find her overuse of adjectives a little annoying at times, but she is the only woman who I think enjoys food more than me. I decided I was going to eat like Nigella once. 3 months and 15 kgs later I decided that maybe she doesn't eat like that all the time.
or maybe she does.
Come Dine With Me- this is English and four people have each other over for dinner. The narrator is hilarious. I also think I have seem every episode of this twice. Oh ok, maybe three times.
Great British Bake Off. I love this show with every inch of my being. It stars Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood. Along with Mel and Sue, the two female hosts who are hilarious and make really bad puns about buns. They make super awesome cakes and breads and the contestants don't take themselves seriously and never cry, which is nice (and very British). And they talk about soggy bottoms, quite a lot.
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| "So Mary- what do you think of my sexy face?" " Nice Paul, but not as sexy as your buns." |
Food Safari- This is Australian and hosted by Maeve. She talks about different cuisines. I want this job. I want it bad. Except in my show I would have to travel to that country. And then eat all the amazing food and exchange witty remarks with my interviewees. I would of course have many specials on Champagne wineries. ( Is that what they are called?)
Bill Granger anything, because there is nothing more fun than making fun of pastel Bill for 30 minutes.
"Dad, is that bowl in Donna Hay blue? Or Nigella blue ? Tiffany blue? or Bill blue?"
" Shhh Bunny, daddy trying to look relaxed with my carefully tousled hair."
"God Dad, you are sooooo embarrassing. And while we are discussing things, why the hell did you call me Bunny?"
Lorraine Pascal- she is also English and she was a model before she was a baker (there is an oxymoron if ever there was one) She makes cakes covered in Malteasers. Enough said.
Donna Hay- Not that I want to mention my love hate relationship with her again BUT she does do quick easy cheat food. I also spend the whole episode yelling at her to tie up her hair.
Tie up that freakin hair. That's an occupational health and safety issue surely.
Cake Boss- because he is The Boss. He makes amazing cakes, that according to my cake decorator instructor must be really really stale. He and his family also fight a lot which is funny. They are Italian, so they yell, and he pronounces fondant fonnndonnnt. Alaways gets a laugh.
This is Buddy. He is the boss.
Cupcake Wars- because it is a show about cupcakes and they have a war. Well not a real war, but cupcakes are serious business.Did you know that Americans scoop out a hole in the centre of their cupcakes and fill them with stuff BEFORE they add the frosting? Tell me again why Americans are so fat?
The guy on the end is french and I can never understand a word he says. You just have to look for facial expressions.
My Kitchen Rules- because it is fun, and doesn't take itself too seriously, except maybe for Pete. He seems a little bit serious. That would be because he is stressed from activating all those almonds and has no where enough fat in his diet.
Masterchef- THE ENGLISH VERSION. I repeat THE ENGLISH VERSION. I used to adore the Australian version, but then everyone starter crying, having a sob story, and wanted to be a chef wayyyyy more than they wanted work as a lawyer. It still puzzles me why then they don't go to TAFE and get an apprenticeship.
Food cooking shows I don't like include Hueys Cooking Adventures. I hate this show for so many reasons. Mainly because he has really odd fat sausage fingers, he does that weird laugh thing and says " Plllleeeeeassse don't add tomato sauce." Well not actually tomato sauce but I couldn't think of a better example.
See, sausage fingers
I also don't like River Cottage. I just don't do farming, free range, organic stuff. I have not time for that. I actually put Jamie Oliver in that category. He can bang on about organic all he wants. I bet if his kids were grown up and he had a teenage boy and wasn't a zillionaire he couldn't afford organic either.
Happy Cooking (shows) it's just like eating but without the calories.
all images via Pinterest
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