Masterchef- Let's get some real challenges.

In case you haven't worked it out I am a cooking show tragic. I loved Masterchef when it was English and hosted by Gary and John. I embraced the first few seasons of Australian Masterchef because it was nice, and fun and the contestants didn't take themselves too seriously. Well ok maybe a few took themselves seriously, but the majority were ok.

Now if they bought Matt Moran back........

Then they started cooking dumb food. And they started crying. They all had a sad story. The food all meant so much to them. Winning Masterchef was going to change their lives. Mostly the thing that got to me though was the dumb food, and the even dumber challenges. I want to see them make food that I would want to make.

So I stopped watching. I have just in the last week watched some episode because there is nothing else on TV- although I am considering committing to The Block next week. Man that Jamie was a dick. I noticed, however that nothing had changed. The food was still obnoxious, they called food weird things- my favourite is still when a chef said he was adding lactose instead of saying he was adding cream. And the dishes looked like this

This is ice cream. The twigs are chocolate. Apparently it looks appetising.

and the dishes that reminded them of their childhood looked like this

Food from my childhood was meatloaf with an egg in the middle, definitely not artichokes with a mushroom salad and quail.

So I decided that Masterchef needs to get real. It needs some real challenges, and food that people can attempt at home.

At this stage I think it is important to say that  two occasions I have applied to be on cooking shows. The first I applied for was the second season of Masterchef. I was so sure I would get in that when I found out the auditions were on I quickly went back and checked my emails. What??? They didn't want me. The other I applied for was My Kitchen Rules. I got as far as an interview and got told to "keep it a secret". I figure that as the season starts filming in a few days it is safe to say that I didn't make the cut. ( Big mistake Channel 7- I would have been television GOLD.)

So here are my challenges for Masterchef.

1. You have to prepare a meal for a family of 5. Mum is on a low carb diet, dad has started Cross Fit so will only eat Paleo,  son doesn't like vegetables, daughter is going through a vegetarian stage, and the youngest hates mince. Each family member will be home at  different times so the meal has to be able to be reheated.

                                           

2. There is no tomato sauce in the house. Make something an 8 year old will eat.

3. It is Sunday night. You have to make an appetising meal with what is in the pantry and fridge. It is not allowed to involve an egg, toast, or two minute noodles.

4. You have to create a delicious meal for the family. You have an hour to cook the meal, and you also must help with homework, take a phone call from your mum, make tomorrows lunches, get a child in the shower,feed the animals, and yell at the kids at least 3 times to set the table. You must also factor into that a winning argument on why you have to sit at the table.

5. You have the extended family over for Brunch. You also have a raging hangover. GO.

6. You have to make a dinner for the family and then you discover that someone has eaten the vital ingredient. What do you do to create the meal?

7. You have been given a Donna Hay dessert recipe to make. You must make the recipe successfully AND look like the picture

This is Donna Hay molten Peanut Butter and  Chocolate fondant cake. I can say with 100% certainty if you make it, it will not look like this.

8. You have to make a risotto and you are not allowed to have a glass of wine.

9. You have to make feed a family who of 5 on a budget that is not allowed to involve pasta, rice or mince.

10. You have to get children to clean the table, wash the dishes, dry the dishes, put the dishes away and wipe down without whinging, or being yelled at.

Now Masterchef, if the winner could do all this, THEN I would be impressed.

all images via the Channel 10 website and Pinterest