Things Perth people never say

I remember last year (or was it the year before) there was a little video that came out about "Things that Perth people say." It went viral - well as viral as something in Perth can get-and everyone had a good laugh at themselves.

This week one Melbourne news website had a story called " Things Melbourne people NEVER say." It was funny and got me thinking about things that Perth people NEVER say. Once I started writing the  ideas flowed. So here it is, my list of things Perth people NEVER Say. 

• "Perth drivers are really considerate, and they are great at merging"
• "Hey- lets go out for dinner at 10pm, everything will still be open"
• " I really want to go to Adelaide for a holiday."
• " I really don't want to go to Bali this year, but if I do I'm totally staying in Kuta- with all the classy people."
  
  
  
  
  

  

  BALI- the most northern suburb of Perth.

  
  
• "You never come across any road works."
• " That Elizabeth Quay is a really good use of money."*
• "That Colin Barnett, now he is a top bloke."
• " Have you got $3 for a coffee."
• "Don't worry about bringing me back a box of Krispy    Kremes from Melbourne/Sydney."

These are Krispy Kreme's. They are not available in Perth, so this means that Perth people buy boxes of them at the airport to bring home, this makes them rare, so people eat them, even though they are actually kind of revolting.

• " No need to drive, it is super easy to get a cab."

This is a taxi. Take a good look, because on a Friday and Saturday night, this will be the only place you will see one

• " It is so good to see all those cyclists out on a Saturday and Sunday morning. I don't mind sharing the road with them at all."
• "What's road rage? We don't have that."
• " You can always find parking in Mt Lawley."
• " You have not lived until you have been to the Bell Tower."

This is the Bell Tower. I don't get it either.

• "There are just not enough Asian restaurants in Vic Park."
• " Train travel after 7pm is always safe, especially from Crown Casino"
• "Perth is so affordable to eat out."
• "Customer service in Perth is really good."
• "That Zac Dawson, now he is a good football player."

"DAAWWWSON"

• "You never get stuck at traffic lights."
• " Perth drivers are really considerate. They always stay left unless overtaking."
• "Rottnest is a really affordable family holiday."

Rottnest, where a weekend will cost you as much as a week in Bali.

• "I don't know anyone who works FIFO."
• "What's a cashed up Bogan?"

• "No one is Perth has a white fluffy dog."
• "I wish there were more hipsters in Perth."
• "There really need to be more Growers Markets in Perth
• "We will just grab something to eat at the football for the whole family, it is a cheap day out."
• " You can buy a house for next to nothing in Perth."
• " Go ahead and try and pat the black swans. They are really friendly."

Black swans. You can not call your self a West Australian until you have been chased by a black swan.

• "What is cross fit? Is that something that happens when you get fit? You get cross?"
• "Everyone knows where Darch is."
• "Telethon, now that is a quality 24 hours of television.
• "Sharks? No, not a problem here."
• "Lets go and get a Starbucks."

This is Starbucks. We don't have that yet in Perth

• "You can definitely support both the Dockers and the Eagles.

There is my list. Please feel free to add your own to the list.

*Disclaimer- I actually do think the Elizabeth Quay is a good idea, I just wish they would hurry up and finish it.

images via Google