Sometimes you have to do things that terrify you.

For me, today was one such day. I think I am quite a brave confident person. I can do lots of thing. I can run marathons, I can stand up everyday in front of teenagers, I have played the piano and sung Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with one of the world best Opera singers (for the record he said I was talented), hell I even spent one Summer pretending I was a Australian Celebrity so I got into nightclubs for free. But today I faced my biggest fear. I had to order at Subway.

Yep Subway is my kryponite. To some of you it may just be a sandwich shop where the workers are called sandwich artists, but to me it is a place to be feared. I don' t care how good their cookies are, I refuse to go in unless someone else does the ordering. So how did I end up in the place? Let me start at the beginning.

I was meeting some friends and their kids for a picnic at Kings Park. It was around lunch time, and I asked my daughter if she would like Subway. Of course she said yes, because today's kids are weird like that and want takeaway that is something you can make at home. (Seriously when did going out for a ham and cheese roll become a treat?). This was all good, until I realised that my husband wasn't coming with us. I was going to have to do this alone.

We left home and headed towards the shop. I had two Subways to chose from, and I was torn. One in a busy shopping centre and one on a major road. This was my first decision. I went for the shopping centre. Good choice. The shop was empty. At this stage I had started to sweat. My Rexona clinical protection was starting to let me down.

I pushed through the door. I looked at the menu. I sweated some more. A lovely nice young sandwich artist asked me what I wanted. Luckily I had rehearsed this bit. I was feeling confident.

" Could I please have a 6 inch meatball and a 6 inch teriyaki chicken please."
And then it began.
"What bread?"
Oh God- what bread??? I looked at this list. 5 Choices including flatbread. (Flatbread??? Seriously?)
"White." 
"Do you want them toasted?"
Toasted? What do you mean toasted? Since when did they toast things???
"Ummmmmm No?"
"What cheese?"
What cheese???? There is more than one flavour? I thought all plastic cheese was created equal.
" Ummm the normal one."
"Cheddar then?"
"Yep cheddar." - although lets be honest calling that cheddar is pushing it.
" Cheese on the teriyaki? "
"Ummmm no."( really people have cheese on that?)
"Salad on the meatball?"
"None."
"None? Really- not even lettuce?"
"None not even lettuce."
"Oh ok. On the teriyaki?
" Ummmmm (at this stage I could feel my face going red, I was sweating even more, I started positive self talk), Lettuce, tomato (I don't even like tomato) cucumber.Please."
" No onion?"
"No."
"No jalpeno ?"
"No." ( did I need to remind her I was having teriyaki and not taco chicken?)
"No capsicum?"
Did I ask for freakin capsicum??? Now you are going to start judging my salad choices?
"No capsicum."
" Do you want sauce?"
Isn't teriyaki a sauce?
"No, no sauce."
" Salt and pepper?"
Oh for gods sake! " Yes I'll have salt and pepper." Does she have a quota of questions that must be asked?
" Oh and I will have some cookies as well please."
"What flavour?"
What flavour? Was she kidding me? There is a cookie choice? Sure enough there was a choice. I could have M&M chip, choc chip, chocolate choc chip,white macadamia nut choc chip or white cheesecake- I don't understand that one either.
"M&M please."
"Thats $21."
I handed over my card, she asked if pay pass was ok and she was gone.

She didn't even ask me if I wanted a bag.

This scene from "Dude Where's My Car?"is to me like ordering at Subway.