Game of Thrones I just don't get you.

I have tried. I can't say I have tried hard because I haven't really tried all that hard but I did try. Once. Which was once more than I wish I had. I don't like Game of Thrones. There. It has been said, so all you of you who secretly agree but don't want to say it can jump on my bandwagon, because right now this bandwagon is pretty damn empty.

I am usually pretty good with television shows (are you allowed to call it that or has it a higher name like television epic), Love Madmen, loved Dexter, loved The Brady Bunch, but this Game of Thrones thing? Nope.

I can't remember when I first heard about GoT  but it was about the time when everyone was talking about this porn show you could watch without people saying it was porn, (Hang on- have I just cracked the code to it's appeal?) because it had dragons and stuff.  Well people- bad news. Dragons are not real and porn is just porn. People started banging on about how amazing it was, how they were locking themselves in their bedroom for the whole weekend until they had finished the series, how they couldn't believe blah, blah, dragons, sex, blah, blah, sword fight, blah, blah, evil queen and kings , blah blah some big wedding massacre where everyone got slain by a dragon or some evil people or something.

Because I am a major sufferer of FOMO (thats fear of missing out for the uneducated) I decided I would watch so I could hang with the cool kids at recess and discuss this show. Yes for all of you who ask there is a cool kid table in the staff room- except I think everyone thinks their table is the cool kid table.( of course we all know it is my table). This brings me to another thing I am struggling with, which is that since when did the cool kids like fantasy and dragons and stuff?

As luck would have it I was getting some kids work of his external hard drive when I found all three series of GoT. Naturally as all good teachers do I copied it- sorry  I told him how it was completely unacceptable to illegally download.And then copied it.

Now in case you have gathered I like lots of things, but I hate fantasy and science fiction. I also hate movies where animals talk because they all have one thing in common. IT'S TOTALLY NOT REAL. I tried to watch Lord of the Rings once. That is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back. I have also never seen a Star Wars, or a Star Trek, or Beverly Hills Chihuahua for that matter, so the odds were against me. Should I also mention that I have only seen on Harry Potter movie- because it is NOT FREAKIN REAL. (Yes I am aware that Jack and Rose from the Titanic is not real either but thats different).

What?? They made a sequel?

I sat down. I began watching. There was this lot of dead people, some kind of weird animals, a dwarf having sex, a brother and sister having sex, someone getting beheaded, umm some boobs, and a story I didn't really understand although I think someone was talking about marrying someone and there was this big guy who checked out the chick who had done the business with her brother who wasn't very nice. There was also some kings and one wanted to stop being a king so he could get drunk and have sex. 

This is the brother and sister- the are quite "close" in the biblical sense. Which is very wrong in every sense, not just in the bible.

This is the guy who is checking out the sister from above. He is doing Kate Middleton eyeliner. And hair for that matter, but at least he has tied his up.

Now some of the magic could have been lost because I was watching it with an upper school class so I had to fast forward through all the rude bits, (how is it rated M??) which realistically knocked out three quarters of the episode, but there was nothing that interested me. I asked around and people told me it usually takes a couple of episodes to get into it ( one person even said it took TWO FREAKIN SERIES!!!) but when you get it, it is AMAZING. 

Well amazing you will have to wait until someone can convince me that my life will forever be unfulfilled until I have seen that evil dude get poisoned which apparently no one ever saw coming. Unless of course they read the books which were published about 14 years ago, which begs the question-  The wedding massacre thing was a surprise???.

Convince away people, convince away. I still have 11 days left of holidays.