A little bit about Perth

I was having a look at the number of views my blog has had (in case you are curious the blog about Miranda Kerrs boobs won) and I decided to see where my readers are coming from. I was somewhat excited to see that I have readers from the US, the UK, France, Colombia, South Korea and Iraq to name a few.

So a big old fashioned G'day from Australia!! For the record no one actually says that. Well unless they are from the country or on a television show made by Americans about Australia. There are also no kangaroos bouncing down the main street.

Unless of course you count these ones, which are a statues. But they are bouncing down the main street in an Arty way.

This is the Swan River. The big river on which Perth is based. I took this photo in the morning- well not this morning but the other day. I run every morning around the river in Burswood. It is totally awesome because the in the mornings if the weather is still you will usually see dolphins playing in the river. Yep. Real life dolphins. Some mornings you will also see drunk people sleeping off their hangovers from a big night out at Crown Casino- which is on the other side of where I have taken this photo.

You should also be warned that there are these scary animals with sharp teeth called Black Swans. They might look harmless but they can seriously chase you.

                                                       

The other thing to be extremely careful of is MAMIL's (Thats middle aged men in lycra.) They ride their bikes like they are competing on time trials for the Tour de France. Be especially aware of the ones in white lycra bike shorts. Your eyes will never recover.

While we are discussing water and dangerous things, Perth is home to wonderful beaches. I don't like the beach myself. Too much sand, and it gets really hot- and I can never work out quite what you do with you phone and keys when you are in the water but they are really pretty. And you can go and have a beer, or a nice white wine after. On a side note- in Perth it is quite acceptable to drink your wine with ice blocks in it. If I have said it once, I will say it again. Perth is like..really hot.

We are also having a sort of shark issue at the moment, so it can be a little bit dangerous. But hey- no one has been eaten by a shark for at least a few months. So all good!

We also play a game here called Australian Rules Football. It is very popular because basically it involves very fit men running around in short shorts. You get to eat pies, drink beer and swear like a trooper with no one judging you.

My team is the Dockers. Well actually I have two teams because I am a girl and I can.

See- fit men in tight shorts.

Another thing to know about Perth is that when it grows up it wants to be Melbourne. That is why one of the most frequently used expression is ' So Melbourne." We particularly use this in reference to coffee and food. We love our coffee in Perth, so much so that being a coffee maker - sorry Barista- is a totally cool profession. Coffee is also a little pricey. $5 for a latte, or if you are super cool- a skinny long mac topped up. No cappuccinos for us! You judge a food place on their coffee and your venues of choice are either, Fremantle for the hippies- (organic coffee anyone?), Leederville and Mt Lawley for the hipsters (organic, soy and paleo for them), and Victoria Park for the normal people. (Just a mocha for me thanks). Oh there is also Subiaco. If you live in Subi you go to Brew Ha. This is the place where the stay at home mums go so their kids can run around and annoy everyone else for a while and the retired people go for their brew. (Hi Mum and Dad).

               This is Mt Lawley. Home of the cool people

Just a word of warning- On a Saturday morning any cafe becomes a meeting place for every singly MAMIL (see paragraph 10). After their exhausting ride of taking up all the roads so no one can pass them, they then fill up every bloody cafe in Perth where they only have a black coffee. 

We have exhibitions in shopping centres. This one is in Enex100. It is the dresses from Sex and the City. This complex has up market stores. And the food hall has really yummy Indian food.

This is the green cactus. I like it. It is -well- green.

This is Indi standing in the water thing. It is like a maze of water fountains that go on and off systematically. It is very cool. It is also a bit of marketing genius- because without fail you will start off telling your kids they can't go in there, they will nag until they you can't be bothered fighting anymore, you give in, your kids will get soaking wet, you will have to pop into the shops and buy a towel, some new clothes and knickers. (or was that just me)

 We found the Easter bunny because today there was kids stuff to do.  He wasn't very happy about being in the cage, but I guess it could have be worse. He could have been in a stew. Or a pie.

You can go shopping. We found a actual real life book shop. With real books that you could hold.

We found another Easter Bunny. He was a little embarrassed though because they were forcing him to walk around with a girl with blue hair. Well I am assuming thats why he didn't hand out ANY FEAKIN EASTER EGGS.

When you walk through the train station you get to what it called "The Perth Cultural Centre". It is full of culture like the Ben and Jerry's ice cream caravan and today there was a man in a space suit dancing to disco music. There is also the Library, the Museum and the Art Gallery.

This is the musical playground, which is outside the Museum. You have to fight the adults off the equipment so the kids can play.

I just added this in because the colour of the sky was amazing today. This is AUTUMN. It was around 27c degrees and there was not a cloud in the sky.

 The Art Gallery Gift shop has some fab stuff in it. Everytime we go in Indi has to touch everything. Unfortunately I never buy her anything. ( I have been a mother for 20 years and a teacher for 15. Those faces just don't work on me)

This is a restaurant called the GreenHouse. It is covered in plants, is very eco friendly and is where cool people go.Hell they even have free compost at the door. I went their once with my mum and they kicked us out after one coffee, because they wanted people in for lunch. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Women. They wouldn't wait on me.

If you are hungry you should probably not try to go to Jamies. (That's Jamie Olivers restaurant.) You see you can never get into the bloody place. Indi and I decided to go this afternoon. At 3:30. We were told it was a 45minute wait. Seriously who the bloody hell goes for lunch at 3:30??? This is as close as we get every time.

                                                                                 
This was the end of our adventure. The train home, which can be a big adventure on it's own. You see I live in a nice suburb, close to the city, but apparently 80% of all crime in Perth happens on this train line. You also never quite know what you might see on the train. Today there was nothing except for everybody trying not to look at anyone else. It is sort of like being in a lift. Where are you meant to look??

So there you have it. A quick visit of my home town. But I have just remembered I forgot the iconic thing in Perth.

The Bell Tower. It is a tower. With Bells. Nope I have no idea why you would want to see it either.

* Please excuse the image of the swans. I have no idea what happened to the layout.

** Images via Pinterest and my phone.