By popular demand- MKR Jess and Felix or " The Night of the Dramatic Music"

Our episode begins in the sunny sea side town on Man due rah. I am assuming that is Mandurah, for our favourite over confident, outspoken couple, Jess and Felix (this is code for the couple that will fall flat on their faces) The could also be called the ugly ink couple, because between the two of them they are seriously sporting some bad ink.

Jess and Felix are not a couple. They do however bare a striking resemblance towards each other. Jess is an interior designer. Felix is a miner.They have known each other for 10 years.  They cook a lot and make the best dip ever. Jess is organised. She has spread sheets, lists and everything else. Their prep is going to make them a success. " Oh no it's not". You can say that bit like this is a pantomime if you like. 

First stop is Coles. They are on the right track because they run in. They run around the shop, and then run to the car. Then they run home. Ok , they drive. But I'm sure they would run if they could. Once home they begin dressing their instant restaurant. It is Jess's favourite style Baroque. Except Jess pronounces it Bar rock.  Then we hit the kitchen, where they use all the right terms, they will be smashing it, nailing it and every other cliche.

It is about this time that I am hoping that tis is Felix's house, because if Jess is an interior designer,  and this is her house, she is in the wrong business. Now for the menu. First course is Pork Belly. Two ways. Followed by a Confit of Duck. But pronounced Con FIT, not con FEE. Now I know that English or French in this case is a little confusing, but if you are going to cook it, pronounce it right. Dessert is a chocolate mint slice with macadamia praline. 

                              Dessert. Nutella on toast.

They begin by making the dessert, and I may be wrong but did I see a packet mix going in that base? They did the mousse and the cream popped it in the fridge, went and got changed (or so they say- they looked the same to me). They talked about the pork belly a bit. It wasn't going crackly. Then one of them said "We have issues." Oh yes you do!!

Our guests arrived and Bree in her cut away said she was interested in how tonighhhhh was going to 
go. Why does she over pronounce her vowels and leave off the last letter. Is she Italian?
Jess welcomed them to their instant restaurant Barrock ( it's  Baroque). She told them it meant class. I die.

Pete and Manu arrive looking as smick as ever. 

"God I'm a sexy beast."

"and so am I"

They sit down. They get welcomed to Barrock ( Baroque). They get told by Felix to pull on their tassels. I sniggered. They get read the menu. Pork Belly, Con-FIT (con FEE) David starts being nice, because he is no longer losing. Felix is nervous about his crackle. I can tell he is really stressed because the music is going into overdrive.

Out comes the pork. It is undercooked. Like really undercooked. Really really undercooked. They go back into the kitchen to begin on the main. It is now that I am really thinking that when the producers go in they really should tidy up. They had more crap on the top of that fridge than on the main course. Next out comes the Con FIT ( CON-FEE for god's sake) . We knew it would be bad because Manu went into the kitchen. They used the wrong part of the duck. They used the breast. Manu told them that a Confit uses a leg. I think they could have saved it by saying that it didn't matter because they mad a conFIT. They served their conFIT with constructed sweet potato. I think she meant deconstructed. Maybe in Man- due-rah they reconstruct things.

They wrapped the duck in filo and put cheese on top. It looked awful. Felix said "Youse enjoy it." What??? they were cooking lamb???

They didn't enjoy it. I also worked out why there was no wine on the table, it was in the sauce. The sound guy was going into over drive with Pete's comments. " Nothing works" BAM, "It's Raw." BAM. "The Pastry is burnt." BAM.

Jess takes it badly because in her life " She hasn't had much failure". Oh dear.

Dessert/ Choc mint slice. Harry is not looking forward to it because choc mint tastes like you have just brushed your teeth and then eaten a bit of chocolate. It's the best mousse Jess has made. The shortbread has worked. The praline is in the fridge. Huh? Won't that make it go soft? It looks weird but tastes good.  They are happy with the presentation. Pete tries it. He likes it. Manu doesn't like the praline. (That's because it was in the fridge Manu)

The diners score them badly. Pete and Manu score them badly. Harry and Christos are having trouble adding up to see if they are still in the competition. They are. Jess and Felix are not.  Two failures in one night. Poor Jess.

And then they called it a night, and the poor sound effects man had a lie down. BAM.

all images are via the Channel 7 website