Teacher wants a Wine

Some times I am full of good ideas. This one hit me this afternoon as I was leaving work and I thought to myself.'Geez I want a wine." (for the record I bought a bottle of Rose and am drinking it as we speak). And then I thought that would be the best reality show EVER.

So I then got to thinking -how could this show even work. Obviously the first problem would be getting permission for the kids to appear on the show. But then I thought easy- we can just blur out their faces. Obviously we need a water tight contract on this one as well- because you know parents would never believe that their kids were bad, and the kids would say "it was the editing."


                           

The show would begin at an "average" leafy green school in a suburb of Australia. It has to be a Government school because otherwise the challenge would be a completely different one. I was also thinking the maybe the role of the"teachers" should be done by someone who is not a teacher, but someone who says 

1. Teaching is easy
2. Teachers are always on holidays so what are they complaining about
and
3. They only work 9-3.

Then I realised that the show would only last a day. So that would never work.

So here is my idea.

At the beginning of a term (10 weeks so a nice length for a season) and a group of teachers are given a specific class in a year group and all have to teach the same subject. The classes will be a mix of abilities, girls and boys,but  each class must include 

• at least 4 students with learning disabilities,
•  one with autism, 
• 4 cases of ADHD -one of which MUST be untreated (because their parents don't like them being medicated during the day, only at night time), 
• one who has English as a second language, 
• one who comes to school with no food or equipment, 
• one who hates the world
• one who hates teachers
• one who is always late
• one who has "emotional" issues
• one who has two cans of Red Bull or Monster for breakfast
• one who parents are splitting up ( but this is only seems to happen when the child is in Year 12 when they are about to sit their exams)
•  one who thinks the only way to speak to an adult is with contempt
• and the one who "never does anything wrong- and all the teachers pick on."

The teacher then has to teach a program, examine it, and report on it by a certain date. Sounds easy BUT marks are lost IF

• the students don't hand in work (that is your fault- did you clearly state when the work was due, and did you remind them?)
• the students fail (once again- why aren't you motivating them? Were your lessons engaging?)
• the students get stressed (why are you stressing my child?)

The trick is of course, that you will also have students out of class randomly at various times, including assemblies, needles, excursions and camps. No need to worry about public holidays- they only fall in the school holidays. 

                             

Eliminations will happen every week.  Students will sit a test, and the three lowest scores will have you up for elimination. Of course if you cry you are automatically be up for elimination. If you ARE nominated for elimination you can get a free pass. IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO DRINK FOR A WHOLE WEEK.

If you are safe from elimination you get a bottle of wine to get you through to the next week.

If you win- you get a job at a top notch "leafy green" school in the Government system- teaching only the Academic Excellence students who have 3 meals a day with snacks, have internet, computers and all equipment needed. And a really big bottle of wine. And you never have to do duty. EVER AGAIN. 

What do you think? Anyone want to apply?