The Bachelor, or the one where Laurina gets this weird look on her face.

Now I have come in half way through tonights episode because I went out for dinner, and I must admit I was very confused because it seemed I had come in halfway through Sam and Blakes wedding. I wondered what had happened in that 30 minutes of television. Then I realised I was actually late for the first date of the episode and Sam and Blake were just pretending to be at their wedding. 

I couldn't find a snap of the faux wedding, but I did find a picture of the girls at a slumber party. Because thats what all girls do- don't they?

Do I need to say it was the most romantic date Sam has ever been on? Sam also went to get her mints which she had popped in her bra, and then the slipped and fell into her belly button. Seriously if Blake has not just fallen head over heels in love with her for that, he is after the wrong chick. She got a rose. (Well deserved Sam)

Group date time. They arrive and it is BEAUTIFUL.Their words, not mine. The girls are all dressed in their best Camilla kaftans (of are they kaftans from the Katherine Kelly (Brooke Logan) range?). Osher has obviously just called in on his way to a sailing meet, because he is wearing a spray jacket. The girls are all out to "out happy" each other, because they have so few dates left.

I feel Jess and Laurina are going to battle in this episode, and then some belly dancers rock up and the girls take turns to do sexy belly dancing in front of Blake. It is like the dance of scene in White Chicks. I am feeling very, very embarrassed.

Blake takes Lousie (who must have the night off from news reading) for a chat, and they had the same conversation they had last week. Blake is comfortable around Louise. I am comfortable in my pyjamas, but that doesn't mean I want to marry them. 

The girls are having dinner, which looks quite yummy, and they talk about movies and stuff, and the music is getting slow, so it must be romantic. Jess is talking about something and the girls are glazing over. Lisa is using the word connection. Twice in a sentence.  Jess and Blake go out for "special time" and Laurina is calling her beige and vanilla which I find hilarious. Jess is now reciting a monologue that she performed for her Year 12 drama exam. They are communicating with their eyes. Then Blake drops a clanger. "He has more of a deep connection with some of the other girls!!!"

Thank God he has Laurina for some special time.  She says they have some foundations of connections. Blake asks about their future. She want intimacy (so do the producers!). And then Blake touched his eye. She completely loses her shit. He says he has something in his eye. She says he is showing no respect for a future soul mate. She goes all cold, and then she touches her eye. I never knew touching your eye meant so much. Laurina had better not ever go out with someone who wears contact lenses.

Ceremoany time, with the token cocktail party. Blake saunters in and I think he has fallen victim to "too much dude food in the bachelor pad" That suit is tight.

 Blake and Laurina have some special time, and I think the penny has dropped that Laurina is a little bit.....crazy. He body language is closed and she has this weird look plastered on her face. Blake is having a moment, and she goes to get a mint. I think mentos should have sponsored this episode.

 She is playing a game. I don't think she is as good as it as she thinks. She is now talking about how they can move to Melbourne, how she has mates, real estate contacts, where they will live happily ever after, with this really scary look on her face.  I think she has really gone nuts. I often think that Laurina is like Sophie Lees character in Muriels Wedding.

Lisa and Blake have a chat and I think just quietly he is relieved to be around someone normal. Except tonight she has verbal diarrhoea and is not making much sense.
                                           
Rose time! There are only four roses. They all use the word connection. The tension is building. First rose is...Louise, then Jessica and Zoe. We are left with Laurina and Lisa.  Everyone is shocked. The final rose goes to...........Lisa. Laurina (dirty street pie is gone).  Laurina gets that weird look on her face again. I am half expecting her to say " Well I wanted to go anyway." I don't think she is really that upset . She has got in enough promotion for her business.

I have the best idea for tomorrow nights ceremoany. The one girl DOESN'T say 'connection' gets a rose.

There will be no blog from me tomorrow night, because I am off to the land of The Bachelor- Sydney. But don't worry, as I drive over the Harbour Bridge I will pretend I am on my way to my dream date with Blake.