I don't know your name and you don't know mine. But 6 weeks ago you changed my life forever. To you it is something that you wont apparently really remember. You wont remember the details of the night and I have been assured that you won't remember my face. You are lucky because I can't forget yours. It is etched in my memory forever. It is there everytime I close my eyes. I see you in my nightmares which visit me every night.
It was normal day of what had been a great week. I had woken up early to take my partner to work and had then done a flight. I came home, went for a swim, walked the dog. Just my normal. Nothing unusual. I may have gone and visited my 3 day old grand daughter. I don't really remember. I came home late in the afternoon and decided to sit down, have something to eat, and watch Housewives of New Jersey. I decided not to shut the garage door because I was only sitting down and was going to take the dog for one last trip to the park.
I woke up 4 hours later. Startled and confused because I still had my watch on. It was 11:30pm I had fallen asleep. It happens sometimes. The early starts, the toll flying takes on your body. You are tired without realising it. I got up and remembered that the house was not locked up. I wasn't scared because 6 short weeks ago I didn't get scared. I shut the garage door. Locked the door. Cleaned the kitchen. Got changed. Cleaned my teeth. Went to the toilet. Filled my drink bottle. But you know that. Because you were in the house with me.
You waited for me. We shared my house, my sanctury, my safe place for 15 minutes. You waited for me to go to bed to make your escape. I turned off the light. You came out from your hiding spot, you grabbed my bag, ran into the couch opened the door and made you escape. Except you couldn't work out how to get out of the garage. I had to do that for you when I walked into my garage, looked you in the eye and asked you what you were doing and told you to get the fuck out of my house.
I will never forget the look in your eyes. You look confused. You were working out what to do. Honestly I believe the look in your eyes was confusion and fear. Fear that I had spoken to you like that. Confusion that I was standing next to you, that I looked you in the eye. To your credit you did as I said. You left with out saying a word. You didn't hit me with the hammer you had as a weapon. You didn't physically attack me. You did worse. You mentally changed me forever.
I was in shock. I went inside, rang the police, listened to the police helicopter fly over me looking for you. Feeling assured because I knew one of the three police cars that came was sitting outside my house " just in case" I tried to go back to sleep. Sleep never happened. Instead I scrolled on Facebook. Some one posted video of a man being arrested just 2 hours later. I knew it was you before I even watched it. I watched it and as I saw as you ran towards the camera that you were wearing my work uniform. You had been in my house and property for long enough that you had taken my uniform off the line. And just to let you know I found the broom that you had put there in case I came out while you were there so you could hit me with it.
You got nothing of any real value from me that night. You got $5. But what you stole from me was priceless. You stole a part of me that I will never get back. I was never scared before. I trusted people, I always felt safe and secure in my life. I think about you when I am home, and I think about you everytime I get dressed to go to work. I jump when I hear noises. I have nightmare most nights. I don't sleep well and when I wake up sometimes I'm shaking. I freeze when I see someone who fits your description. I get chills when I think about what could have happened. I get so mad at myself when I think about how I fell asleep and didn't lock the house. I feel angry. But most of all I feel sad.
To you this means nothing. Like I said -It was a night you won't really remember.
For me it is one I will never forget.
