Time for a Ross River Update.

THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT ROSS.

So here I am 4 weeks later and I'm still in bed with Ross. I know  before I said he was an arse but now he is officially a fucking arse.  To be completely honest I refer to him as a c*&t and no one likes that word so I must be serious. I have never had anything like this before in my life and I have had glandular fever, chronic fatigue, a pulmonary embolism, given birth to 3 children (one with no drugs) and run 27km on a fractured leg. Old Ross has completely thrown me.

So 4 weeks on let me describe what having Ross is like- it is like you have been on a drunken bender every single night and wake up in the morning with the worst hangover in the world with no memory of how you hurt your arm/leg/ neck/ wrist/shoulder. You have a headache, nausea and wonder what bee's nest you stood on because your hands and feet won't stop itching.

I am currently on 6 panadeine forte a day as well as a 1000mg anti inflammatory. I can get out of bed and do something but then have to crawl back into bed because I am stuffed. I have been advised by my doctor that I have to get out of the house and do something everyday because your mental health can be at risk because of the pain and fatigue. Lucky for me I have an amazing bunch of people around me who are taking me out and plonking me in a chair so I feel like I am not missing out on anything.

From where I am lying (literally) I am wondering when this is ever going to get any better. I have got the most amazing Doctor who I have seen more in the last 4 weeks than I have seen in the last 4 years. She has signed me off work for another 2 weeks and has warned me that the chances of me going back to work full time this year as slim to none. Being the totally together person I am I got back in my car after said visit and cried all the way home. Which for me is another side effect of Ross. He makes me cry- like all the freakin time. My poor friends have actually learnt to ignore the crying and just keep talking.

I am missing being around people so much and I can't believe I am saying this but I am missing work, my work buddies and even the teenagers.

But for every negative there is positives- so here they are...

1. I have caught up on Netflix
2. I have caught up on Stan
3. I have bonded with my dogs 
4. I have bonded with my cats
5. I have not had to spend any money on petrol
6. I know what everyone is doing because I have spent so much time on the facebook
7. I know what everyone in the neighbourhood is doing because if I am not in bed I am on my verandah.
8. My hair is in good condition because it is not being straightened every day.
9. I am saving money on makeup because I am not using any.
10.  Um.. nope there is no 10.

So the moral of the story is........ don't sit outside your villa in Bali in the middle of the night because you are worried you will not wake up in time to get to the airport in the morning without a mosquito patch on. 

Ok I have just re read this and realise how miserable I sound. I'm not miserable all the time - I'm just really bad at being sick. And If I'm going to feel hungover I want to big night before to go with it. 

There is a new man in my life. His name is Ross River and he is an arse.

So... I came home from my latest trip to Bali with a lot of things. A tan, two bottles of vodka, some contraband cigarettes and Ross River Virus. The first three things on the list are awesome (and nearly gone) unfortunately Ross ( and my virus is know being called) is neither awesome, nor nearly gone. Ross is a bastard. A mean, painful bastard.

Before it all went to shit.

For those of you who haven't heard of Ross before let me sum it up for you- it is a virus spread by mosquitoes and it common to tropical areas of Australia and the other state of Australia Bali.

I am very mossie safe in Bali because my mum had Ross 40 years ago. I always wear spray, and mossie patches- but this time a little fucker got me. In fact it was just one little fucker because I only have one tiny little mossie bite on my hand. 

So I got home from Bali on the Thursday and by Thursday night I was really, really itchy. I had a bit of a runny nose and felt a tiny bit fluey but put it down to that fact that I had partied like a rock star in Bali. On Friday night I was sitting at the pub enjoying a Bailey and Bailey's with the squad when all of a sudden I couldn't move my arm. We all had a good laugh, I had a few more wines to dull the pain and went home to bed. When I woke up I still couldn't move my arm, and my left leg wasn't working properly. I thought I had just slept on it wrong- so I cleaned my house for a home open- cooked dinner for my friends who were coming over- had a few more wines but by the end of Saturday night I couldn't use my right wrist. Sunday morning it was my left wrist and by then I knew something wasn't quite right. 

I took myself off to the Doctor- she said I was a weird mystery (not the first time I've been told that) told me to get some blood tests and take some pain killers. Fast forward to Tuesday- I'm sitting at my friends house crying. By this stage the pain had moved to my neck, shoulders, left arm and jaw. She takes me back to the Doctor who said all my bloods had come back clean except for Ross. She gave me really good pain killers and on Thursday I had the final results that I had in fact brought Ross home.  To be honest I was kind of glad because I had been slowly convincing myself that the weird mystery virus was going into my brain and I was going to die.

So the talents of Ross is that is moves throughout your body- and you can feel him moving because you get pins and needles and I am itchy. It hits one joint hard and then the next day will travel to a new one leaving the former joint as a dull ache whereas the new ache is unbearable. You are also tired. So freakin tired. In fact I have slept for 20 out of the last 24 hours. You have no energy and doing the littlest thing ( like making a coffee) will require you to go back to bed for a rest. And everything hurts. My arms are hurting even as I type this. I also can't focus on anything- which some might say isn't an entirely new thing- let me rephrase it- I have more trouble than normal focusing.

The other thing about Ross is that no one can actually tell me when he will dump me. He will hang around anywhere from 3 weeks to 12 months. 

So what I have Ross and I been doing? We have been spending a lot of time in bed, we have gone on a few excursions which have entailed me sitting down. We have gone to the chemist to get more drugs, and paid a visit to the Doctor. We are powering through Homeland on Netflix, and we get up every now and then to make toast. We lead a simple life me and Ross.

So if anyone needs me Ross and I will be in bed with Netflix and the cats and dogs.