The day my body stopped working.

It's official. I have broken my body. Well that's a little bit dramatic, but yesterday at approximately 4pm (which was very annoying considering I was at my friends birthday lunch and if you have ever been to one of my friends functions you know you never want to leave early). My headache that I had thought was just a "way too much wine at the quiz night' -(which by the way we came second- you know when there is a questions about marathons it is going to be a good night) became a spectacular migraine topped off with a "not sure which end of a tummy bug" I have, I knew it was time to move on home.

I got home, peeled off my clothes, made the epic climb up the stairs, waded through the cess pitt that is my sons bathroom, threw the 10 towels that are on the floor in the clothes basket, climbed in the bath (after I cleaned it), soaked until the water was cold, got in my pyjama's and slept.

I think I put my daughter to bed (well she climbed into bed with me and was there when I woke up) and didn't move until 6am when I carefully opened my eyes to feel that the symptoms were still there plus the addition of a very aching body. I send a text to the relief coordinator at work (reading that back it sounds a bit wrong, in education the Relief Coordinator organises the relief teachers if you are going to be sick). I made my daughter a sandwich - thank God she likes butter  sandwiches- and climbed back into bed only waking briefly to watch the end of Sliding Doors (God Gwyneth does the WORST British accent). 

Where can I get this?

So the point of this is that after weeks of complaining about how sore my body is I have realised that my body has given me the " Emma- you are burning the candle at both end and it doesn't matter how nice that candle smells." My body does this to me every now and then, I ignore my tiredness and then bam- I can't ignore it anymore.

So what to do? Well I am going to be a bit kinder to myself. I obviously can't give up the marathon training, but maybe I might sit down and smell the roses and bit more. I might also start eating better ( I am shoving a rooster roll in my mouth as I type), cut down on the booze ( I said cut down not stop. I know my limitations) and stop overthinking things. I am just going to "be" - well once this week is over when I have got all my shit together at work, have programmed for the relief teacher for when I am on leave, finished off the year 12's leavers program, written my year 11 exam, finished my final two essays for Uni..oh and I also have two dinners to go to and a party on the weekend. Well you get the picture. 

Maybe I'm just not sure if it is possible to stop and smell the roses any more. Maybe it is only possible to pause and smell the roses these days.