Did the hear the one about when I thought I had a stalker?

So... I know I have a very good imagination. I am always thinking about things and making up ultra cool scenarios in my head, like me marrying George Clooney or becoming a famous writer and living in New York, but the other morning I was totally freaked out. Like TOTALLY. Let me start at the beginning.

Now as much as I am a morning person, I can be a little hazy at 4:45am when I get up to go for a run. So last Tuesday morning I found myself sitting on the toilet, and when I eventually opened my eyes (it takes a while) I saw that the lid to the drain of the shower had been removed and was sitting neatly beside the drain. This is weird for a few reasons.
1. because I am pretty sure I don't sleep walk (or clean)
2. because I don't think anyone else knows how to remove the drain lid (because if they do they never bloody have before to clean that thing) and 
3. the lid is actually broken so when you remove it, it comes away in three pieces. It was sitting whole. In one piece. ONE WHOLE PIECE.

Well you can imagine how freaked out I was. First I rang my husband to see if he had removed it. That was a no. I asked my son if he did it- which I worked out straight away was not the case when he asked if the lid to the drain even could come off. The last option was my daughter who, as I have mentioned in previous blogs likes to do sneaky things and then hide the evidence. But even she said no. She actually looked at me like I was bat shit crazy, so I know she was telling the truth.

So I was convinced. I either had a stalker or a ghost. Of course it was even more mystifying because I have two very yappy dogs (sorry neighbours) who bark if anyone walking past the house even farts, so the chance of anyone getting into the house was very remote. So I convinced myself that if it was a stalker they were living in the roof and had charmed their way around the dogs (which isn't hard- they will do anything for a treat.) And they were watching me. In the bathroom and this was their way of teasing me.

Of course the other option was a ghost. A very strong ghost who likes cleaning,  but a ghost nonetheless.

I was so serious about this that I didn't mention it to anyone ( because they might think I am crazy) until it happened AGAIN. Same bloody thing. Go to bed drain lid on, wake up, drain lid off. I was beside myself and contemplated that maybe it was time to start showering with my clothes on. Funny that my first thought is not of being taken by my stalker but more that they might see me naked. I then started to think of things that had gone missing. Like my grey bonds hoodie. And a few pairs of knickers. And money from my bank account. Well the money bit is a lie, but seriously where does that all go?

So I finally decided to tell people incase I went missing. I was convinced I  either had a stalker or a very strong ghost who like cleaning. I was getting ready to go to the crystal shop and may or may not have yelled at the ceiling " I KNOW YOU ARE UP THERE...GO AWAY". I was covering all my bases because I think ghosts do respond to you talking to them don't they? I'm not sure what the stalker living in my ceiling would have done... maybe shouted back " Well you could maybe drop a few kgs", and maybe that I really should clean the shower a bit more?

So this morning I am lying in bed when I hear something in the shower. This is it. Finally I am about to either 
a. Meet my untimely end at the hands of my stalker who lives in the roof and watches me shower, or
b. Meet my ghost who like to clean my shower. I tiptoed up to the bathroom door, flung that door open and caught that stalker red handed in the act.......

Bloody cat.