For those of you who have not heard about the show it is a Netflix series about a 17 year old girl who commits suicide and leaves tapes telling all the people how they contributed to her taking her life. The show is told in flashbacks. Don't get me wrong I feel for Hannah, I really do because depression and mental illness is a serious issue but I think her actions where down right mean.
If you have anyone in your life who has watched this show I think it is really important that you sit them down and watch this youtube video- it is the missing piece that needed to be shown on netflix and wasn't. It explains the motives behind making the show and also what the producers hoped the message would be that young people would get.
So I decided to write Hannah a letter, a letter I would write to anyone who is struggling.
Hannah,
I am so sorry that you felt the only way you felt you could end your pain was to take your own life. I'm not going to tell you that what you were feeling wasn't real, and that the sadness and loneliness you felt wasn't real. Depression is a very real, and very horrible disease that robs you of all the joy in your life and make you see no reason to go on.
I never say that taking ones own life is selfish, because I understand that suicide is not to hurt others, instead it is the only way you can see to end your pain- but Hannah, I think you behaved badly. Let me explain.
You never told anyone. You had an amazing family, Your mum and dad loved you and would have done anything for you... but you never gave then that chance. You pretended everything was ok and they had no idea what you were going through. If you let them in they would have helped, they would have taken you to the doctor and got you some help. And by the time you finally did tell someone you had made your decision- there was nothing that councillor could have said to you that would have made you change your mind.
Some horrible thing happened to you- but once again you told no one. You kept it to yourself and people only knew when you had already gone. You never gave anyone a chance to help, or the chance to explain their actions. You see Hannah, people have their own stuff going on and we are all a bit self absorbed. And you know what... people can be horrible, selfish and mean at times. But when someone reaches out I know of no one who would have turned you away. Those people who you talked about - they didn't kill you- they triggered your depression. You decided not to reach out and get help. I know the conversation is a hard one to have but it could have saved your life.
If you asked me I would have told you that depression does suck. It sucks the life out of you and some days you don't want to go on because you see no light. Those days can turn into weeks and months and even years. Some days you just get through not minute by minute but second by second. But there is medication, there are treatments, councillors, psychologists and you can have an amazing life. I wouldn't lie to you and tell you living with depression is easy- but I wouldn't trade a second of my life - both the ups and the downs - for anything. You, Hannah, missed out on a crazy, fantastic journey because you didn't ask for help. Because it is out there. Depression is treatable and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. In fact it is one of the bravest things you can ever do.
I'm sorry you felt this was your only hope.. but I feel even sadder that you never gave anyone the chance to help.
Emma
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