Road Rage. Some days it is totally understandable.

I have a 30 minute drive to work that is timed to perfection. I know exactly what time I need to leave home (7:46), what time I have to leave Before School Care by at the latest (7:58) in order to make it to work in time to turn on my computer, check my pigeon hole, make a cup of tea and have a quick chat to some work buddies all before the bell goes. Actually my whole mornings are timed to perfection down to the time I need to leave to go and exercise(5:15), how long I can spend in the shower (10minutes), how long I have to do my hair and makeup (10 minutes),how many times I have to tell Indi to put her shoes on (3) and brush her teeth (2). Breakfast is eaten in the car, although the toast is put in the toaster between the final "put on your shoes" and the first "brush your teeth"

                      


So you can understand why some mornings I can totally understand how road rage happens. Let me talk you through my drive to work today.

1. Driving down my street. The car coming the other way has cars parked in front of them, so in theory they should wait for me. Of course they don't, they speed up. And then they don't have the decency to do a courtesy wave. So I did a wave in the hope it would make them feel guilty. Don't think it worked.

                                   


2. At the lights the car behind me decided they don't want to merge and MUST get in front of me. Dude it is a 40km sped limit AND there is a bus. You aint getting that much of an advantage.

                                            


3. There are two lanes. The right lane has a red light, the left lane has a green arrow. I am turning left, there are no cars in the left lane. Until the idiot in the right lane decided to pull into the left lane. AND DOESN'T TURN LEFT.

4. Pull up at the lights. In the right lane. Check the car in front is not turning right. They aren't. Until the light turns GREEN, and then decided to indicate. Seriously it is called a indicator for a reason. TO INDICATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

                         


5. The speed limit is 70. Two cars are driving side by side. Doing 60. All the way down Orrong Road.( for roughly 15 minutes for those of you who are not locals)
                             

6. They then see the light is turning amber. They both speed up so they get through the green light. I don't.

7. The lady in front of me changes lanes. Without looking in the rear vision mirror. I think trick is also in the name. REAR VISION MIRROR. Not  the "check out your pimple mirror", or "put your makeup on mirror".

8. Driving up Lesmurdie Hill. Two cars are driving side by side. Doing 60. The speed limit is 80. And then when I can eventually pass they are not looking when I give them a dirty look. So unsatisfying.

                                                     

9. Reach the 40km school zone. To the lady in the white car- when you see that sign that says " End of School Zone" it generally means you can do the speed limit again.

10. Reach Kalamunda. Land of the slowest drivers in the world. It seems that the formula for the speed you drive is your age (Once you hit 60) minus 20, going up in increments of 10 with each decade you reach. So if you are 60 you drive 40, 70 you drive 30, 80 you drive 20 and so on. And as the average age of people in Kalamunda is 80 you can imagine the nightmare.

Lucky for everyone involved I am an awesome driver, who never does anything wrong. Never had an accident that was my fault. And Justin if you are reading this- the scrape, I repeat the SCRAPE on the Mercedes was not my fault. It was the fault of the dumb arse council who didn't remove the whole bit of concrete.