It's official- I have cabin fever.

Well actually I have a respiratory infection, but it has seen me take to my bed and 4 days later I am still here waiting for the anti biotics to kick in. I always fancy the idea of a few days in bed, and it is enjoyable, but I think the 4th day is pushing it. I also can't sleep, because as soon as I swallow I wake up. So I have had not much to do beside watch a lot of daytime television, and surfing the net (do people still say that?).  I have also booked a camping holiday, and tried to stop the dogs eating my pens, cough lollies, and drinking my red cordial. The red stained fur was a give away.

I love television, and the only thing I love more than television is crap television. My channels of choice have been the You and the Food Channels, and man do they have some crap on those. I have watched Embarrassing Bodies ( you see some stuff that can't be unseen on that), Secret Eaters (What?? Alcohol has calories I had no idea???)

Embarrassing Bodies-Do not watch this with your kids unless you want to do some seriously explaining- or scare the bejesus out of them.

Although my favourite part of this was when the two ladies who could't work out why they were getting fat, rolled up at the final segment with a bag from Macca's with a sneaky cheeseburger and fries inside. Don't tell the Bride has also been a favourite (why would the Bride get upset that there was no money left for a wedding dress?) as has One Born Every Minute. Yesterday a lady who had a brain injury had a baby and she was worried they would take her baby away. I cried.

I have also been watching Paul Hollywoods Pies and Puds- I am an expert on making butter frosting with an Italian Meringue base, and Come Dine with Me Couples has taught me that every relationship has a loud person and a quiet person, and one who can cook and one who can't. Oh and also never tell your wife that you wish she would have a boob job. That didn't go down well especially when you are on a show with knives.

What happened to SuperNanny?

Wife Swap has also been watched (there was a very white man who is a Rastafarian- which I still thing is just as way of validating your decision to live a life of smoking weed and not working), and Super Nanny (what happened to her?). Super Nanny amazes me because lets face it, is it that hard to work out how to use the Naughty corner/stair/room? I did get a good chuckle about the mum who needed help with her kids, especially because in her former working life she was a child behaviouralist!!!

Bingle is preggers.

The Internet has been a source of information. I have learnt that Mother Teresa was not so saintly after all (honestly- really? that little old lady? Surely not).

Apparently this is the image of evil. No not Diana, the other one.

A girl in Sydney ran away because she fought with her dad over a chocolate bar (totally understand that, I get really, really, really mad when someone eats the last Moro bar out of the box of Favourites). 

Don't steal my Moro bar, even if they are a poor mans Mars Bar.

Apparently women in their 40's are the new sexy (well durr!!!), Lara Bingle is definitely pregnant, well according to the photos and the fact that she went shopping for baby clothes in Dior, but I am not sure if she photoshopped her legs or not (and I don't really care about that and she has also released a tanning and bronzing range) Although I do think that Britney has gone over board with the photoshop, and somehow has turned into Jessica Simpson.

This is Britney Spears. Honestly.Well a photoshopped version. 

So that is what I have been doing for the last 4 days. I have to go now because "Undercover Doctor- Cure Me I'm Gay" is on, at the moment the man is getting rid of the hosts' pink shirts and loafers, because they are "gay" as is Mozart apparently (the man who performed this "therapy" now lives with his male partner mmm) and apparently you become gay because you have s childhood trauma. And also because  there is this ad for something called Dragons Blood moisturiser is on. It makes you look younger- and you get a free gift!!