Why it is good to be a cat.

So the other day I wrote a blog about why dogs are better than humans. Well as you can imagine my cats are really mad with me, because as every cat person knows- cats are better than everyone. So rather than " why cats are better than humans' I thought I would get Will, my cat to write
"10 reason why being a cat is the best"-so Will- it's over to you.

1. It is your job to sleep.
That is all you are expected to do. Sleep. Anywhere, anytime, no matter how weird the spot might seem. In fact the more inconvenient the spot- the better.

2. It is ok to be fat.
No one like a skinny cat (well only the stupid vet), the fatter you are the cuter you get.

3. Humans are always trying to be nice to you.
Humans will do anything to get you to come and let them pat and cuddle you. You can play hard to get. In fact the harder to get you play, the more people try. All I have to do is show my face and bamn- it's cuddle time. And if I don't feel like it I can take any more- you just get those claws out.

4. You can blank people.
If you don't like someone you don't even have to pretend. People expect you to be arrogant. You are just being a cat.

5. You don't have to exercise.
No being forced to walk like they make the dogs do. See point 1- your job is to sleep.

6. When you decide to be nice you get whatever you want.
Hungry- meow and rub up against your humans legs. Want a cuddle- just jump into your humans lap. They are never going to say no.

7. You can do gross things.
Like bring your human a cockroach. They love that shit. 

8. You can be fussy.
Don't accept just any food. Turn your nose up at anything you don't fancy. Sniff it, and walk away. They will panic because they want you to be fat.

9. Go an make friends with the neighbours.
This will make you human jealous. This will make then try even harder.

10. You can blame anything bad you do on the dog.

Yep- do something naughty, get the dumb dog to come and have a look and then run away. Or jump up somewhere high that the dog can't reach. The look down with a disapproving look when you human discovers the bad thing. Dogs are so dumb they won't catch on.