MKR recap - We are NOT mediocre.

So tonight is all about redemption. Kelly and Chloe are out to prove that their first night was just bad luck. They CAN cook, and they DO know good food. Thats because they have eaten all over the world in Michelan Star blah blah blah.

The girls begin their day with some downward dogs in their garage, which magically transforms into a dining room in an hour. You can tell the girls mean business because man are they throwing out the cliches. They are going to smash it, while they kick arse, bust the joint and they won't be thrown under the bus. They are also NOT mediocre. Because they have eaten all over the world in blah, blah, blah, blah.

The girls get in the car and Kelly starts doing this weird Gangsta thing. The girls don't go to Coles, they go to Fresh Provisions in Mt Lawley. This is because it is a bit more pretentious, sorry classy. They do however put the shopping in their Coles bags. They are telling us that they are making the same dish as Felix and Jess, a conFIT of chicken. (That must be how they pronounce it in those flash restaurants the Contiki tours take you to). Luckily the find gallons of duck fat at fresh provisions. Just a heads up girls- Coles stocks that.
Entree is marron on a crab pillow with truffle (in a jar). Dessert is a cannoli and a Espresso-tini. Espresso martini's are soooooo 2013.

The girls get home. They are big white trucks out the front. They are either being burgled or the camera crew is there. The restaurant looks nice. It is Gatsby themed. Sooooo 2013. They are going to "rock the joint". The girls know this because they have skills others don't have and because they have dined in blah, blah, blah...

Chloe starts making her pasta, and states, "I am confident because I make it all the time". By now we all know this is code for- it's not going to work. Thats all that needs to be said about the pasta. Chloe gets flustered. This may have something to do with the fact that her pasta is not working and they are playing this really weird sexy music over the top of the vision. It felt. Awkward. Kelly hugs her. Chloe starts crying. Kelly is still speaking Gangsta, and that is all she seems to be doing. 

                 "They won't stop playing that sexy music"

The girls go and get changed and do a very bad job on their hair. The guests arrive. Anna has something weird on her head. So does Corrine. Danielle has amazing lipstick. They sit. They like the restaurant/yoga room. Chloe goes and makes more pasta. Carly realises that David and Corrine are partners " Holy Lady Gaga". Amen to that sister. Anna and Carly are trying to out food each other. Harry makes fun of them. David is starting to act like the drunk uncle at a wedding. 

Back in the kitchen- the new pasta is sort of working. Kelly tells us that if the pasta is overcooked it will be ruined. Yes Kelly that is generally the way it works.

Manu and Pete arrive. Pete is looking like a activated almond bundle of health. Manu is wearing a suit that is a. ugly and b. tight. They sit, the entree come put. Many is 'appy. Petes eyes are sparkling. Success. Except David doesn't like it. 

The girls are back in the kitchen to work on the main. They have taken on board some of Carly and Tresne affirmations because they are confident.  Here comes the point where even I know the girls are in trouble. I have never confited or conFITTED anything, but from my vast culinary knowledge gained from a steady diet of NIgella and Jamie. I know that confit takes a long time in a slow over, I also know we are in trouble because the piano accordion starts playing and in walks Manu. He questions Kelly about her conFEE. She says this is how she always cooks it, and it tastes just like the one she has had in a Michelin Star restaurant blah, blah, blah. From my years of teaching all I can say to you Manu is " walk away buddy, walk away."

                    "You are questiooonning me- a frenchman, on 'ow to prepare a confee? You can't even say it propurrly

Kelly's conFIT comes out. It is wrong, Her Brussel sprouts are wrong (they are always wrong - I am with Carly on this, they taste like garbage) but her sauce is good. David hates everything. Carly gives a negative sandwich. Pete and Manu nearly wet their pants.

Back to the kitchen to make dessert. A cannoli. God I love cannoli's. The girls had them in Italy. I had them in Italy as well. And Victoria Park. So there.  The dough is not working properly. Carly thinks she is getting cannelloni bless her, and Cathy speaks for the first time. She doesn't like sweet desserts- WHAT???- and she is showing an awful lot of cleavage. The cannoli's come out. Personally I think they look good. Manu says they are boar-wing. Pete likes it but doesn't like the espresso-tini. Told you they were so 2013. Oh and David doesn't like it. David is actually being a dick, I can see why he has gone through 2 wives. Corrine is also a little bit nasty. I can see why she is with David.  Harry and Christos are boring, and I think Josh and Danielle are going to be obnoxious. Carly and Tresne are going to be in this for the long haul, because they are funny and real nice country chicks .

The don't get good scores. Their score is mediocre. "WE ARE NOT MEDIOCRE". Well girls, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck............

Maybe just a little mediocre. Although I do like Chloe's dress.

Tomorrow night Josh and Danielle are cooking molecular gastronomy. 2010 called. It wants it food back.

All images used are via the My Kitchen Rules official web site.