I would like to share my fantasy.

And no it does not involve George Clooney (because to be honest I have gone off him a bit since he got engaged to that Lawyer women, I think I liked George better when he was dating bimbos, and I think they look really alike which is kind of creepy.)

Imagine her with grey short hair- can you see it?

My fantasy is that... Hang on to your hats...... to wake up one morning and bounce out of bed feeling refreshed, alive and ready for the day.  Yep. It is that simple.

I was thinking it this morning when my alarm went off. Now I must admit I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself at the moment because I have had the worst ever cold season. This is karma kicking me in the arse because I'm one of those annoying people who goes on about not needing a flu injection because I never get sick- I actually think it is time to step away from Dr.Google. ... But I woke up this morning and felt like I hadn't even been asleep. And I only had half a bottle of wine with dinner, and I wasn't even hung over. Had I known I was going to feel this crap I would never have let my husband have half the bottle. I was exhausted. I got up and everything hurt. My knees cracked, I couldn't stand up and my eyes were almost stuck shut. Although this may have had something to do with the fact that I didn't take my mascara off properly before I went to bed.

I felt .......43. ( Yes I am aware I am 43, but I am also a little delusional, I think my physical age is actually my mental age) And then I panicked - is this how I am going to feel forever? Will I always wake up exhausted and with my joints cracking? Will I always spend my days counting the hours down until I can go back to bed? Will my cupboards always be messy because I can't bend down to put things away nicely because my knees hurt too much? ( That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.)

I am trying. I sat down this morning and had my Vital Green powder mixed into my veggie juice, whilst I ate my home made granola with goji berries ( home made by my mum- who I think should go into the granola business because it is amazing) and downed some immune boosters and vitamin C (1000mg).   This didn't work so I had a few cold and flu tablets washed down with a big mug of white tea and sugar. It is always a bit disappointing though since they took the pseudoephedrine out of them though, they have nowhere near the hit they used to. 

I also have given up my addiction to sugar. I think this may be my issue. Yes I am aware that I added sugar to my tea but whatever. I used to eat soooooo many lollies. I gave them up and have felt like shit ever since. And before you can say I am in withdrawal  I gave up my lolly addiction 12 months ago -unless of course it takes that long for 42 years of sugar to leave your system. To be honest though I think I feel worse, and have managed to add 5kgs which I think is due to that fact that I am now substituting sugar with carbs (yes I know , both sugar) I also think that the poor people at Allens are wondering why the sudden drop in numbers of bags of Party Mix being sold- Retro mix or Classic, I'm not fussy although both bags do have yucky lollies, like the yellow bears, they are the strawberry creams of the lolly bags, always the last thing left.

And don't say I should try fruit. Fruit makes me hungry. No one ever did great things on an apple. A toffee apple maybe, but never an apple.

I have given myself the rest of the week off exercising (and no, my jeans will not thank me), and I am hoping that on Monday morning when the alarm goes off at 5am, I will bounce out of bed, slip into my running gear with embrace the day. And then again maybe I won't.

all images via Pinterest.