So lycra is an interesting thing. To women it is that awesome thing thing that holds all your wobbly bits into place. To men it is that thing you wear when you go riding your bike and make you look....well lets face it... pretty damn awful.
Last week in the city where I live there was this story about this bar/restaurant that refused entry to men wearing lycra (aka bike shorts) after a ride. I am torn because lets face it... there is nothing more repulsive than a man in lycra, but I have become a cyclist. ( don't ask that is a whole different blog).
But.... it made me think about the whole weird bather/swimmer/togs thing. Why is it that the moment that something has lycra is becomes clothing??? And do you have to be in the vicinity of a body of water to make it ok? And what type of body of water does that have to be?
Let me begin. When I am in my bathers ( I wear a bikini which is much more flattering that a one piece- weird but true- go figure). I will walk around quite happily. I will lie on a sun bed, swim, walk around, and order my lunch from the delightful boy who takes my order. Put me in the same amount of coverage ( a bra and kickers) and I will run faster from the bathroom to the bedroom to get some clothes on faster than you can say " tuck that flabby tummy into you knickers" in case some one sees me. Why does the addition of lycra make such a difference?
Yesterday when I went for a run (ok maybe I walked) I saw a woman sitting next to a play ground wearing a bikini. She was about 20m from the water but there was so much wrong with that picture. But I am not sure why. So I think I have come up with some ground rules.
1. Bathers must only be worn near the beach or the pool.
2. Bathers must contain lycra. Otherwise they are just bras and knickers.
Those are the rules.
End of the story.
Amen.
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