How to make holidays your bitch.

I returned to work this week after 5 delicious weeks of holidays. And they really were delicious. It has made me realise that there are two kinds of people in this world, those who like holidays but look forward to going back to work (seriously WTF?) and those who love holidays and never look forward to going back to work.

Needless to say I fall heavily in the second category. I never, ever, EVER look forward to going back to work, and not because I don't like my job. I do like my job- especially the getting paid part of it, but the thing is I am really, really good at holidays. I do them well. Like really well. Like really, really well.

Now I am the first to admit that I am not good at much, in fact I am probably mediocre at most things, but there are three things I excel at-

1. Eating
2. Shopping
3. Doing nothing.

As luck would have it holidays manage to combine my three main talents. There is not a moment of boredom to be found. I actually think I relish those moments of boredom. Not that I have time to be bored, because as you will see from the list below I am very, very busy. So here is a guide to holidaying well. According to me.

1. Wake up early ( I choose 6 during the holidays) and exercise (if you must- but as you can see that eating is one of my talents, exercise is a must). The you are finished by 7:30 at the latest and you can ......COME HOME AND GO BACK TO SLEEP!!! This is gold for a variety of reasons, but for me the best reason is because when you wake up at proper holiday time (10am) who have the whole day to relax and chances are you have even forgotten the pain of exercise. GOLD.

2. Have a leisurely breakfast. Check your facebook, instagram, emails, gossip websites (and some news sites if you must). Once breakfast is eaten, go back to bed with your mug of tea and ponder the rest of your day. 

3. Once day is pondered you really should watch an episode of what ever tv series you have committed to for the holidays. Mine this holidays was a toss up between Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy. Breaking Bad won, but I feel a sense of failure because I didn't finish the whole series. ( I really think another week of holidays is required to complete said task).
                                                  

4. By now you really need to recheck all your social media sites. Because something might of happened. Or someone might have done something really important like had a piece of cake.

5. Lunchtime! Head to the shops and grab something for lunch. Have a wander around the shopping centre. My local shopping centre only has a Target, Jeans West, a ridiculously expensive boutique ( I often wonder who shops there) and a $20 clothes shop. Lets just say I bought at least 4 wonderful pieces of clothing from those retailers- each item no more than $20 each. SERIOUSLY.

6. Home to eat lunch. You now can watch your tv show, read one of the magazines you picked up at the shops or check the internet. Don't bother with Foxtel, because at this stage of the holidays you have already watched everything that is on.

7. Nap time. Because you day has been exhausting and you need to have a nap. 

8. Wake up - think about dinner. Think about taking the dogs/kids to the park/ pool. Think better of it and either waste some time watching videos on youtube, or watching those dumb videos that people post on their walls. Or spend a few hours on Pintrest looking at things you could do, but just can't be bothered doing. You could also read a book, if you feel that way inclined.

9. Have dinner. Discuss plans for tomorrow that you know will never eventuate because you are too tired/too hot/have run out of money/ can't be bothered or really need to watch that episode of Great British Bake Off so your schedule is a little full.

10. Time for bed. But the problem is because you have had two naps during the day you don't fall asleep until at least midnight. Not that that is much of a problem. Because if you refer back to dot point 1 you will be able to go back to sleep after your exercise.

Somewhere in those 10 points you will ask yourself whether you really should be looking at the huge big box of work that you bought home to do over the holidays. Generally the rule there is by all means look at it, but just leave it at that.

Now of course this list is not exhaustive. You can also include going out for lunch, having friends over, going out for coffee, going out for a wine, going our for dinner and a wine, going on a holiday (like a plane holiday), planning a holiday, or going like fancy pants shopping to name a few extras but the point is things like cleaning out you tupperware cupboard really has no place on this list.

So there you have it. Ten ways to make holidays your bitch. I did warn you that I have been watching Breaking Bad.