They just don't make teen movies like they used to.... A Fault in Our Stars. a review with spoilers. (to save you some pain)

I love a good teen movie. I think it is because I was a teen in the 80's, the time of THE teen movie. John Hughes was a god. Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off..... Somewhere along the line things went wrong. There was still some classics, like 10 Things I Hate About You, Bring it On, Mean Girls to name a few, but then something happened. Teenagers and teenage films became all angsty and wallowy. At least when I was a teen we could have our issues, but put on a good synthesizer dance track (with a bit if saxophone) and we got over it.

                                                 
                    This is what teen movies are all about

Apparently the best teen movie of 2014 is The Fault in Our Stars. If you liked this movie- look away now. It is the most angst ridden, self indulgent, overacted , "lets pretend to be positive" movie I have ever seen. I was watching it by accident because I couldn't find the remote and couldn't be bothered looking for it.

For those of you haven't seen the film- you lucky things-  this is story of Gus (Augustus- of course it is), and Hazel (who he calls Hazel Grace- of course he does). They are 17 and 18 and both have cancer. Gus has lost his leg and he is upbeat, pretentious and obnoxious. The boys puts unlit cigarettes in his mouth and doesn't smoke them to which Hazel gives him some pretentious obnoxious speech about cancer and the tobacco company. Hazel has had cancer since she was 12 (or something). She wears oxygen and is dying. They also have a friend who is going blind from his cancer.

                          

Hazel falls in love slowly with Gus, but then when they go to Amsterdam to find the writer who wrote their favourite book who turns out to be an alcoholic arse, they fall "hard" in love and kiss in Anne Franks house. And strangers clap. Did I tell you that they go out for dinner and drink champagne? They say it tastes like stars. This may be where the films name comes from. Who knows? And by this stage I honestly don't care.

                              

I was hoping that this was the end- but alas no. Gus breaks the news to Hazel that he has cancer again (geez didn't see that coming). He gets bad really quick, he asks Hazel to write a eulogy, than he wants to attend his own funeral, so she has to read it to him. In a church. At night. She cries. He cries. Then he dies- not at the church but 8 days later. (Nope still not the end). Hazel gives a deep and philosophical monologue voice over about her pain and shows that she is far more deep and intelligent than any 17 year old.


At the funeral the arse writer (not literally- I mean he is an "arse" not that he writes about arses) arrives at the funeral and winks at Hazel just as she is giving her eulogy at the 'real ' funeral. She gives another philosophical voice over as I am side tracked for the awful shoes that her mother has on. I then realise that the arse writer is Willem Dafoe and wonder how he got involved with this film. He admits that his daughter died of cancer (as the arse writer- not as himself-Willem Dafoe I don't know if he has a daughter). They then have some deep conversation which Hazel doesn't want to hear (now she knows how I feel) and she kicks him out of her car. He drinks out of his hip flask ( I know how he feels). Cue the montage with the sad song.
                              
                               And boy did I feel it.....

Finally she finds a letter that Gus wrote to the writer. It was deep and is asking the arse writer to write the eulogy. We hear that in a voice over. Which is accompanied by a flashback montage. And a song I actually like.  He says he loves her, and talks about getting hurt and I'm sure if I was a teenage girl I would be crying by now but then it finishes. And I find the remote control which is under the dog.

The End.